


Awakening

by PrincessAmericaChavez



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:05:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmericaChavez/pseuds/PrincessAmericaChavez
Summary: He's not brooding and he's not jealous and he's not thinking about how Jester's upstairs with some guy she only just met tonight. He's not.





	Awakening

"I've seen lots of dicks!" Jester loudly proclaimed weeks ago and Fjord still sharply remembers his initial shock at the statement. It's not that he's judging her, he's  _not,_ and he's spent enough time around sailors to have heard much worse and he's been around the world enough to have had his own share of experiences in that field. So he really shouldn't be surprised, but he is. For one, all the women he'd grown up surrounded with had always been carefully coy and secretive about their private affairs. There is also the fact that Jester is usually so bubbly and downright childish that the statement was a stark reminder that she's actually a grown woman who's, apparently, had his share of experience in the world. 

"What?" She asked when he nearly chocked on his drink. 

"Nothin'," he'd replied, because he's a gentleman and what else was he supposed to say?

It's not 'nothing' apparently, though, because he can't stop thinking about it for days after that. It's ridiculous, really, because nothing about her has changed, he just can't  _un-see_ some things his mind has brought up, ideas that didn't even appear after weeks of traveling together just the two of them. He catches himself wondering if during those cold nights of travel he should have... they could've...

 _No, no, no._ He's a gentleman and Jester's his friend and he's not going to let one comment make that weird. He does his best to keep his mind out of the gutter, but she's not making it any easier. She sits by his side, leans against his shoulder, smiles and winks and he'd swear she's flirting, except she's acted like this all the time. So it's him who might be making it worse. He deflects by flirting back —does that really count as deflecting?— just as playful and lighthearted. She's clearly just joking around, so maybe if he does it will feel normal again. It almost does. 

And then, sitting at the inn's tavern, he sees Jester excitedly talking to a man they'd just met that afternoon. Fjord'd judged him as a nice fellow, especially after he'd helped them battle a bunch of gnolls on the road, but at the moment he wasn't feeling especially fond of him. Not when Jester's hand was resting on his forearm and kept whispering in her ear. He perfectly caught how his long fingers cupped her ear, pulling back strands of dark blue hair, lips nearly touching her horns. Fjord'd been there before, in that very spot, sharing secrets with Jester as they planned their next move across town, as they shared some information only the two of them knew, as she planned some tricks. He'd been there, and it almost felt like that spot belonged to him. Maybe it didn't. 

Jester suddenly jumps to her feet and Fjord perks up, ready to reclaim the attention he's been quietly missing all night. She doesn't sit with them, though. She just skips from the bar, smiling widely, and sends them a wink. "I'll be upstairs. Good night guys!"

And with that, she disappears, holding the man's hand as she leads him upstairs as if she was just going to show him her latest drawings on the wall. Fjord's pretty sure that's not what's going to happen. His stomach drops and he downs his firewhiskey. With a huff, he walks to the bar to get himself another. His better judgement says he should call it a night, but he just really needs a drink right now.

"You okay there, man?" Beauregard asks, suddenly appearing by his side.

"Yeah, m'alright," he says, with a shrug. "Just tired."

He's usually good at this, at making people believe his words, but something about Beauregard makes her read through him more often than most.

"Are you sure this has nothing to do with Jester?"

"What about her?"

"Oh, you know, that she's upstairs right now... probably fucking a dude..."

"That's- She's free to do as she wants," he manages to get out, feeling his face burn. He hopes his skin tone will hide it properly. He doesn't have enough experience about in blushing to know if it shows or not. 

"Sure," Beau drawls. "So she can just fuck whoever she wants whenever she wants. Totally agree. I mean, sex is great. I'm surprised the rest of us aren't getting it on all the time. I mean, Jester's been obviously in the mood for a good fu-"

" _Could you please stop talking about that?!_ " He interrupts, frustrated. 

"What's wrong about that? Don't be such a baby."

"I'm not being a baby, am trying to be respectful."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so damn respectful we wouldn't be in this situation," Beau says into her cup, both eyebrows arched. 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"C'mon, man, don't make me say it."

"What?"

Beauregard lets out one of her very particular groans, throwing her head back and staring at the ceiling. 

"You gotta be kidding me."

"What?!" He insists.

"Oh, this conversation is making her angry, I want in on it," Molly announces, appearing on Fjord's left with a wide grin.

"Believe it or not, I'm more annoyed with him tonight than I am at you."

"What'd I do?!" Fjord jumps, offended. 

"It's more about what you  _didn't_ do," Beauregard snorts.

" _Oh!_ " Molly opens his eyes wide.

"Whatcha two goin' on about?!" Fjord complained. 

"If we are doing this, I'm going to need more alcohol," Molly says. "One round for us three please!"

The fact that Molly's buying Beau a drink almost scares him. 

"Haven't finished my drink."

"Then you better get on it," Molly says.

With a long sigh, long enough to encompass all his annoyance at the moment, Fjord grabs his glass and downs it. He feels the heat of it slowly warming his chest, easing a little the knots that at some point formed there. The drinks arrive and Molly leans on the counter, smiling and waiting for... something.

"Can y'all tell me what this is about so I can finish my drink and go to bed?" Fjord huffs.

"Dude," Beauregard looks at him like he's suddenly grown a second head, "you really don't see it?"

He's annoyed enough to not even reply. This isn't funny anymore. 

"Bro, Jester's been trying to get some from you for  _weeks_!"

"She what now?!"

Molly chuckles by his side. "Oh boy, this is better than I thought."

"N- No, she's just... She's just Jester... That's the way she talks. Ever since I met her, you know that."

"That's the way she talks to  _you_ ," Molly rolls his eyes.

"Listen," Beau slams a fist on the counter. "If Jester flirted with me  _half_ as much as she does with you, I would've sealed that deal at least a week ago."

"You do share a bedroom," Molly snorts. "Honestly, I wouldn't be saying no either if she came at me like  _that._ "

"Like what?!" Fjord looks at them both —which takes quite a bit of annoying neck twisting— surprised. "Now, now, now, don't fucking go making shit up. Jester and I are friends and she's just... she's just like that... she's not really interested..."

"You know, this is actually rather comforting!" Mollymauk sighs, taking a sip of his flamboyant drink. "I mean, all this time I thought it was a little mean how you were leading her on, but if you didn't even  _know_ -"

"I'm not leadin' anybody on!"

"My dear man, you're even  _less_ subtle than  _this_ awful one trying to get Yasha into her bed."

"Hey!" Beauregard sends him an offended look. "I am super suave!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"And that's not the point," the monk deflects, patting Fjord's arm. "The _point_ is that _you_ , my man, have been totally blind."

His brain pauses for a second, trying to take all the information in. He downs the new drink and Molly congratulates himself on his alcoholic advice. Fjord, however, deflates on his chair. 

"Don't know what you're talkin' about. Jester seemed awfully interested in that new fellow," he grumbles, nodding towards the stairs. 

"Can you blame her?" Molly asks arching an eyebrow. "I mean, the girl's relentless but it's been  _weeks._ There's only so much rejection a person can take before moving on."

 _Rejection?!_ Fjord thinks horrified. Is that what he's been doing?

"Not like she's moved on or anything," Beau adds on his other side. "I mean, that guy's obviously a rebound."

"Oh, those are fun. Almost as good as hate-sex."

"Gross," Beau jumps.

"Not with  _you!_ Gross! No!"

"Oh, thank god!"

"Would you two shut up for a minute?!" Fjord snaps, trying to come to his senses. 

They stare at him, but he's not sure what he was planning to say once they gave him a second to think. 

"So...you're sayin' Jester likes me?"

He can actually feel them both sharing an annoyed look. They leave without saying much more. He stays sitting there, alone, staring at empty space and trying to come to grips with everything.

* * *

 He spends most of the day thinking about their late night conversation. Luckily, they don't have much to do since they are taking a day to rest. They do buy a couple healing potions and he's to spaced out to even try to hassle the seller. It doesn't help that Jester's just acting natural and normal and that nothing's changed for her when he's trying to readjust his whole perspective on what's happened the past several weeks. She barely talks to him and he barely talks to her and he's pretty sure Beau and Molly are talking about it behind his back —though they could also be bickering because it's them—. 

It's until night falls and they find themselves back at the tavern that a strange itch gets under his skin. He sits close to her, until their arms are nearly touching, but none of their usual banter ensues. He tries to bite back the disappointment, until he remembers Molly's words:  _There's only so much rejection a person can take before moving on._ So, okay, maybe he's been fucking things up. He should do something about it. 

When Jester gets up to get another drink, he follows closely without a word (pointedly ignoring the look Beauregard sends his way). He tries to shake his nerves off. He's done this a million times, more often than not with strangers to get in their good side, and he's been playfully bantering with Jester for a while now. So this shouldn't be too different, right? No reason to be nervous. 

"So," he says, leaning an arm on the counter as he faces Jester, "is that fellow from yesterday joinin' us tonight too?"

She jumps a little, and gives him a surprisingly unreadable look. 

"I don't know. I don't think so. Would you like me to go call him, though?"

"No, no," he shakes his head, tries to laugh to hide his panic at the idea. "I mean- I think it's good that he's not comin' tonight."

 _Holy shit, why is this so awkward?!_ He wants to punch himself in the face, but somehow the comment manages to make Jester smirk. 

"What? You like being the only handsome man around?" She asks playfully, leaning forward. 

"Now, I don't think you could say that, with Molly and Caleb around," he replies immediately. 

Her smiles falters only slightly and he realizes, late, that he's deflecting her compliment. He clears his throat quickly and adds:

"But yeah, maybe I do like it."

"Oh, you do?" She chuckles. 

Fjord shrugs, faking nonchalance.

"What can I say, darlin'? I'm not entirely fond of sharing your attention."

She lets out a laugh that he'd swear is nervous. It's hard to tell in this light, but it seems like her cheeks are a shade darker blue. He likes it. She didn't look like this last night. Not that he'd want to compare things, because he doesn't, but a part of him might be a little proud that he's getting this reaction from her.

"So you like my attention?" Jester asks, and damn she sounds  _giddy._ It makes his heart melt.

"Quite a bit."

"I like it when you call me 'darlin'," Jester says, terribly imitating his accent in the last word. 

It makes him laugh, maybe a little too loudly, but to his delight she seems to enjoy making him laugh. But he knew that. He's known a lot about her, about this, for a while now. He just wonders how he didn't know that he knew it.  He leans forward, one of his arms reaching around her on the counter to keep her closer to him. She doesn't back away, like other women in his village would. She stands her ground, smiling, until his breath ruffles her bangs.

On a whim, he brings his hand up to her head and carefully tucks back a couple of dark blue strands behind her ear. He leans forward slowly, until his lips brush her ear, and the silver chain that hangs between her earring and her horn.

"I'll try to remember that,  _darlin,_ " he whispers. 

 _My spot,_ he tells himself, glad to be back in this little space he's claimed next to the crook of her neck. He'd happily stay there forever, but he knows that's not an option right now, so he slowly pulls back. 

Jester's face is definitively a darker shade of blue right now, and she seems to be quietly giggling. He's not laughing right now, though, because there's nothing funny or playful about this anymore. He can feel a weird sort of electricity under his skin, much like he feels his falchion's magic when he holds it. Everything feels intensified times a million, the bar, the taste of firewiskey on his lips, the cherry smell of Jester's hair, the freckles on her cheeks. 

She moves just a fraction of a second before he does, pulling him in for a kiss that's intense and experienced, but tainted by a hungry nervousness that he understands all too well. His hand is still in her hair, so he grabs it softly to hold her there, marveling at how soft her lips are and how lively and how-

A round of whistles and claps makes him pull back. His face must be flushed a dark green by now as he turns to look at their other travel companions. He'd entirely forgotten about them, but they clearly hadn't forgotten about them. Molly and Beau are the noisiest, but there's also Yasha's knowing smile as she claps, and Nott's cheering and Caleb shouts something in another language and laughs at his own inside joke. 

_Oh gods._

He sends Jester a look, but she's far from sheepish. On the contrary, she's grinning widely at the others and she takes a deep bow like a circus performer. Fjord covers his own face with his hand, in a sad attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

Jester sends him a mischievous look that reignites the electricity under his skin. 

"I think that's enough of show for them," she announces, grabbing his hand. "The rest is private show!" She shouts at them. "A hundred gold for the entrance!"

Yasha actually barks a laugh at that and for a second Fjord's afraid that anyone will take the little cleric up in her offer, but before they can reply she's pulling him upstairs. 

They barely make it to their floor before he has her firmly pressed against a wall, his lips hungrily exploring her mouth, her neck, her shoulders. God, he'd been  _starving_ for so long. He'd been blind to what Jester wanted but, damn, had he been in denial of his own wishes too. Now, he realizes, he's wanted this for a long time. And maybe she was hiding behind her bubbly jokes, and maybe he was hiding behind his gentleman ways, but it all seems ridiculous now. As if she was thinking the same thing, she chuckles against his mouth. Oh gods, at this pace they are not going to make it back to their rooms at all. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I miiiiiiiiiiiight add a smutt chapter later because I got way more carried away than I expected with this two and things started to get a little too intense!
> 
> but like let's see how this little thing goes and we'll see. 
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoyed this smol thing :) <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr (same handle) for prompts or geeking together or whatever!


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